


Vacation

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-30
Updated: 1999-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 11:38:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11334921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: The idea for this story is based on the experiences my family and I had on an RV vacation across the United States.





	Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Vacation By Tristain VanDial

X/Story: 30 July 1998  
ArchiveX: 16 July 1998  
Vacation  
By T. VanDial  
Author's Note: The idea for this story is based on the experiences my family and I had on an RV vacation across the United States.  
Email comments to: 

* * *

Walter Skinner looked at the brochures and maps he had scattered all over the coffee table. He carefully perused each one. When he saw something that caught his interest, he would scribble down that tidbit of information on a notepad.

"Fox, have you ever been to Dollywood?"

Mulder rolled his eyes to one side and answered, "No."

Walter recorded his answer in his little notebook, and then continued to look at the piles of brochures.

"Is all of this really necessary?" Mulder asked. "I mean, it's not like we're going to do everything. Can't we just wander around, and if the mood strikes us, stop?"

Walter Skinner pointed his ink pen at him, "Vacations have to be planned. You can't just get in an RV and drive."

"Why not?"

"Because it's just not done, that's why. Ever been to Mt. Rushmore? How about the Continental Divide? Hey, I think a burro ride down the Grand Canyon would be kind of neat," the older man continued.

Fox Mulder got up from the chair he had been sitting in and plopped down next to Walter. "We can't do all that in three weeks, can we?" he asked.

"Oh sure, we can. I'll make us an itinerary, and there you go."

"Walter, you ever drive an RV before?" Raising his hand in the air, he continued, "Before you answer, let me ask another question? You ever been inside one of those oversized cracker boxes on wheels?" 

"Well, not exactly. But a cousin of mine sells them, and he told me that he'd rent me one anytime for next to nothing."

"So you've never been inside one. Sounds promising. Then you've never driven one?" Fox added.

"I've driven a tank in the army," Walter said defensively. "They're not that much different."

"Like hell they're not. If you plan on driving around the country, pretending an RV is some kind of a tank, count me out. Carnage on the nation's highways for three weeks does not sound relaxing to me."

"You don't sound very excited about this trip. It's the first time in months that we've been able to get away. If you don't want to go, just say so, and we'll stay here," Skinner said, looking dejected.

Mulder started to speak, but just couldn't bring himself to say anything negative. Looking at Walter's expectant eyes, he knew that this vacation meant a lot to him. Going against his better judgment, he replied, "Of course, I want to go. I just want to make sure we have everything ironed out before we cruise down the interstate."

"Great Fox! By the way, we're not taking the interstates. Too much traffic, and not enough to see. I want to get the feel of America, and the only way to do that is to take the road less traveled."

Fox Mulder was getting a sinking feeling. Three weeks on the road in an RV didn't sound too relaxing. If he had had his way, they would've gone up to Walter's cabin, locked the door, and spent the entire three weeks in bed. Well, that wasn't about to happen. He'd never been in an RV, and he certainly didn't relish the thought of traveling the nation's roads in one. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he imagined. After all, he'd be alone with Walter. Making love in a cabin or in an RV didn't make much difference, as long they had plenty of time to enjoy that activity.

"So, where are we going?" Fox asked, feigning excitement.

"I thought we'd head north first, the Appalachians, and then the Great Lakes. After the lakes, the Great Plains, then cross the Rockies and head south to the Grand Canyon. From there . . ."

"Okay, my head's spinning. I'll leave the travel plans to you," Mulder waved his arms and laughed.

Skinner leaned over and took Mulder in his arms, "This is going to be the best vacation ever. I promise you that."

"I believe you."

The older man kissed him. "I haven't been this happy in years, and it's all due to you."

"Thanks, but I don't think I deserve all the credit. Besides, you've helped me shed my gloom and doom personality too."

"We're good for each other, Fox. That's why I want this vacation to be the best ever. Since it's our first one, I want it to be memorable."

"I'm sure it will be," Mulder said, as he put a hand inside Walter's shirt. "Now, I want you to put travel plans out of your mind. Instead, I want you to concentrate on me for a little while. Make me happy, Walter."

"You horny bastard," Skinner groaned as Mulder's hand touched his quickening erection.

* * * * * * * * 

"Fox!" yelled Walter, as he raced into the apartment.

"What's all the commotion, Walter?" asked Mulder.

Taking the younger man by the arm, Walter led him to the window. "Look across the street in the parking lot," he directed Mulder excitedly.

"Why?"

"Just do as I ask," Skinner said. "You see it?"

"Uh, see what?" Mulder asked, and then exhaled as he saw a large RV parked in the lot. "Don't tell me that's it!"

"Isn't it a beauty?" Walter beamed. He then held up a brochure and began to read from it, "Sleeping for six, complete mini-kitchen, self-contained waste management system, t.v., air conditioning, shower, washer/dryer . . . it's got everything!"

Mulder eyed the behemoth. Even from the tenth floor, it looked huge. "Sounds like it has everything but a microwave," he replied.

"Oh, it's got one of those too."

"Did your cousin give you a good deal?" Mulder asked.

"He sure did. Leon knocked fifty percent off the rental price."

"Hey, not bad," the younger man shook his head with approval. "He must really like you."

"Sort of, Fox," Walter responded sheepishly.

"Care to explain that 'sort of'?" Mulder wanted to know.

Walter went into the kitchen and got a beer. "You want one?"

"Yes. Would you care to answer my question?"

Fox could tell by the way Walter avoided looking at him, that something bothered him. "You're fidgeting."

"Am not. Here's your beer."

"Are too! Now out with it!" Fox demanded as he opened his can and took a sip.

"It's had its brakes replaced six times in the last year," he mumbled softly, hoping Fox wouldn't hear.

"My God, Walter! No wonder you got it at half price. It's a death trap!" Mulder yelled looking horrified.

"It's not as bad as all that. Leon said that there was something wrong with a master cylinder and a micro module that controlled the ABS system . . ."

"Oh shut-up, Walter. You don't have the foggiest idea what you're talking about, do you?" Fox interrupted.

"Well . . . . . . No. But Leon wouldn't send us out in it if he didn't think it would be safe. Besides, no one has died in it."

"Not yet you mean! Oh, that really instills confidence in me. I can just see it now. We make it to the top of the mountains. You begin to head her down the other side and swoooooooosh, we're road kill!

"Fox!"

"Take it back, Walter!" Mulder insisted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I can't."

"And why not?" Mulder wanted to know. His head was beginning to throb.

"It's a special, one-time offer. For only two thousand dollars, non-refundable, we get to drive anywhere for the next three weeks. Hell, Leon even waived the excess mileage charge and threw in insurance. Come on, Fox, give it a chance."

"To what, kill us!" Mulder said, showing his irritation. "By non-refundable, you mean that we aren't going to get our money back, don't you?"

"Yes. Leon said that the rental agency had rules, and that's one of them. You get a special rate, but if you decide to back out, you lose your money," Walter answered, still not looking at Mulder.

 Mulder could see the proverbial handwriting on the wall. Sitting down on the couch, he downed his beer and crushed the can in his hand. He knew Skinner wasn't an idiot, and he also knew that Walter wouldn't risk either of their lives.

"Have you had its brakes checked?" Mulder wanted to know.

Walter walked up behind him and began to massage his neck and shoulders. "It's the first thing I did. Believe me, it's in tip top shape."

"I'll take your word for it," he sighed, as Walter's hand began to work the tension out of his neck. "Oh yeah, that's the spot. You and your magic hands."

Continuing to knead the younger man's neck, Skinner added, "I think we should load all our stuff tonight. I figure that if we leave at about 5 a.m. tomorrow, we'll beat the rush hour traffic."

"Whatever you think is best. Besides, if I get sleepy, the damn thing has beds."

"Six to be exact," Walter interjected, then added with a smile, "What say I take you down and show you how everything works? The bathroom is the weirdest thing you've ever seen, Fox. You have to remember to put stuff down it everyday, or it begins to stink."

"Newsflash," Fox said as he got up to follow Walter out the door. "Not only will we be killed racing down the Rockies, but when they find us dead, we'll smell like shit. Did you say that this was supposed to be a relaxing experience?"

Walter laughed as he answered, "Damn right!"

* * * * * * * * *

Fox Mulder slapped at the buzzing alarm clock, trying to turn it off. Not succeeding, he buried his head underneath a pillow.

"Get up, Fox!" Walter said, as pulled the pillow away. It's 4:30. By the time you get dressed and ready, it'll be pushing almost 5. Remember, we want to be out of the city before rush hour traffic starts."

"No one gets up in the middle of the night to go on vacation. Come on, let me sleep," Mulder begged.

"No way!" Walter said, as he rolled the younger man over and began to tickle him.

"Stop! Walter! All right already!"

As Mulder got up, Walter slapped his naked butt.

"Ouch!" Mulder yelped.

Following the younger man into the bathroom, Walter kept telling him to hurry. Mulder splashed water on his face, haphazardly brushed his teeth, and ran a brush through his unruly hair. He then stumbled back into the bedroom and put on the clothes Walter had made him lay out the previous night.

"Okay, we're almost ready. Let's see," Walter continued, "money, credit cards, wallet . . . . . Mulder, don't forget your wallet!. . . . .keys . . . . . I think we're ready."

Yawning, Mulder mumbled, "Let's go. The sooner we're out of here, the sooner I can take a nap."

"No way! You're the navigator. I can't read the map and drive at the same time," the older man said.

"Walter, you never said anything about me being the navigator. Oh well, let's just go. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back."

"Some attitude. I bet you change your mind once we get on the road."

"I wouldn't bet on it," Fox Mulder said, trying to keep his eyes open.

When they had finally gotten everything battened down in the RV, Walter slapped Mulder on the back, "Ready?"

"Yo," answered Mulder and added in a Western drawl, "Wagons, Ho!"

Slowly, Walter maneuvered the RV out of the parking lot and onto the street. Mulder closed his eyes when Walter cut off a taxi. 

"Dumb butt!" Walter shouted. 

"You almost sideswiped him," Fox said, making sure his seat belt was fastened securely.

As Walter steered them out of the city, he looked at the gas gauge. "I think we'll need to fill up before we get out of the city."

"You're the captain."

"There's a station now," the older man said as he began to slow down.

"Can you get this thing under the awning?" Mulder asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because . . . ." The sound of metal scraping metal stopped him from finishing. Looking over at Skinner, he added, "That's why."

"What was that?"

"That mon capetan, was your first accident. Put it in park, and let me check out the damage," Mulder said.

Fox Mulder sucked in his breath as he viewed the harm done to the RV. Luckily, it didn't seem to be all that much. The awning apparently suffered the brunt of the collision. 

A short man came running out of the station, "What in the hell do you think you're doing? Can't you read!" he said as he pointed at a sign which read, "Oversize vehicles and RVs use back pumps. DANGER: Low Awning."

Walter Skinner came around the vehicle holding up his FBI badge, "Sorry about the damage. Official business. Here's the name and number of my insurance carrier, I'm sure they'll take care of all the damage."

The man took the card and said nothing further. Mulder guessed that seeing the FBI badge had shut him up. For some reason, people seemed to be intimidated by Agents and the Bureau in general.

Mulder heard the gas pump click off. Walking to the hose, he removed it from the RV and placed it back on the side of the pump. As he screwed the gas cap back on, he turned and looked at the pump. "Holy shit! Seventy-two dollars just to fill this thing up. Walter!"

"What is it, Fox?"

"Did you how much gas this thing needed? We better be getting the best gas mileage in the world, otherwise we'll be broke before we leave the District."

"Oh yeah, it gets great mileage. About seven miles to the gallon."

"Seven miles to the gallon!" sputtered Mulder. "You consider that great mileage?"

"Sure, the average RV gets less than six miles to the gallon. We'll be getting one more mile then most other RVers," Walter answered as he swiped his credit card in the auto pay slot, pressed some buttons, and then removed his receipt. "Let's get moving!"

"Whoa there, big fellow. I think you'd better back this thing up. We don't want to cause any more damage, do we?"

"You're right, Fox. Hop in."

Two hours later, after only making two wrong turns, they crossed the state line of Pennsylvania. 

"Are we going to stop to eat?" Mulder wanted to know, patting his growling stomach.

"Stop? No way! You're forgetting that you can fix us something to eat as I drive."

"Fix what?"

"How about some eggs and bacon. You know, breakfast stuff," Walter suggested.

Shaking his head, Mulder replied, "Okay, but you know what kind of a cook I am. You want to risk your health eating my food, be it upon your head."

"It's just eggs and bacon. Maybe some coffee and toast on the side," the older man suggested.

The younger man undid his seat belt and made his way to the small kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he removed the eggs and bacon. Trying to keep his balance as the RV bounced over the highway proved to take most of his concentration. 

"Where's a pan?" Mulder yelled, holding on for dear life.

"Underneath the range!" yelled back Walter.

Cursing under his breath, Fox found the pan and set it on the range. Now, how do I light this thing? Oh yeah, Walter said that you had to turn the knob to the right and then flip this thing to ignite the gas. Mulder turned the knob to the on position. He began to flip the ignition switch. Nothing happened. Piece of shit! He flipped the switch again . . . . . nothing.

"Walter, I can't get the burner to light." the younger man said.

"You're not flipping it right," Skinner replied.

"Yes I am!" shouted Mulder. He then moved the pan and looked at the burner. Nothing seemed to be clogging it. He lowered his head to get a closer view. 

"Flick the ignition switch two or three times in a row," Walter suggested.

"Okay," the younger man said, as he did as Walter suggested.

On the third flick, the gas caught, and a small fire ball burst out of the burner and traveled upward. Mulder had just enough warning to close his eyes. He felt the heat of the fire brush the front of his face. The smell of singed hair assaulted his nostrils.

"Shit! I'm on fire!"

Walter Skinner brought the RV to a screeching halt sending Mulder onto the floor. The older man raced back towards Mulder with a fire extinguisher in hand. Fox Mulder had managed to make his way to the sink. He held his head underneath the facet, letting water run over his face.

"Are you all right?"

Mulder shut off the water and stood up. He turned and glared at Walter. It looked as if he were suffering from a bad sunburn. His face was fiery shade of red. Coming closer, Walter noticed that the front of his hair looked odd. 

"My God Fox! You've burned some of your hair."

"No kidding!" Mulder said sarcastically.

"Don't tell me you had the gas on all this time?" asked the older man.

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Anyone would know . . . "

"You say one more word, Walter, and I'll take this pan and shove it up your ass!" the younger man threatened.

"No need to get hostile. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. My face stings a little, and I've burned my hair, but otherwise, I'm fine," Mulder replied sneering.

"You can cut the burned hair off," suggested Walter.

With a threatening look, Fox Mulder poked his finger in Skinner's chest and said, "I'm not going to be fixing breakfast. I suggest you find a McDonald's, Burger King, or I don't care what. I'm tired, hungry, and a little burned. Give me any trouble Walter Skinner, and so help me God . . ."

Walter stifled a laugh, pulled Mulder into his arms and said, "Whatever you say my little smoky Joe."

The sun was beginning to set, casting an orange light over the countryside. After being on the road for well over fourteen hours, they had managed to make it to Ohio.

"Think we ought to find a place to park this thing?" Mulder asked.

"Not yet, Fox. It's barely getting dark. According to the KOA directory, there should be a campground at Buckeye Lake."

"Which is where exactly?"

"About another hour away. Get me something to drink, please," the older man asked.

"No way, Walter! Everytime I go back there you put on the brakes, and I end up on my ass. You know,my face isn't the only thing that's beet red," Mulder said as he shifted his weight from one hip to the other.

"Fox! All you've done is complain. So you had a little accident. . ."

"Oh sure, I nearly become a human torch, and you call it a little accident!"

"Okay. It wasn't a little accident. You're all right now, so buck up. I could really use something to drink," Skinner begged.

Mulder unsnapped his safety belt, "You're nothing more than a big baby, Walter Skinner, and if I didn't love you . . . Just forget it!"

Holding on for dear life, Mulder made his way to the refrigerator. He opened the door and got both Walter and himself a soda. Taking a deep breath, he headed back to the driver's compartment. Crawling back into his seat, he opened Walter's drink and handed it to him.

"Thanks. I'm sure I'll think of some way to pay you back," the older man replied grinning.

"Not if you don't find a place to park this rattle trap."

"Don't worry, I'll have us all snuggled into bed in two hours max," Walter promised.

It was dusk when they pulled into the Buckeye Lake KOA. Walter got out and went to the office to sign in. Five minutes later he returned.

"Where do we park?"

Pursing his lips, Skinner answered, "Not here, they're full up."

"Dammit Walter, you promised me two hours, tops. Now what are we going to do?" Mulder demanded.

"No sweat. The guy in the front office told me there's an RV camp twenty minutes away on state highway 16. It's called the Enchanted Forest."

"What are you waiting for, go!" Mulder ordered.

State Highway 16 turned into a dirt path about three minutes down the road. Large trees grew up to the edge of the roadway. Low hanging branches bounced and scraped alongside the RV.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Mulder asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, see there's a sign 'State 16'.

In the gloom, Fox Mulder saw a light in the distance which seemed to be illuminating a sign. Getting closer, it became obvious that it was a billboard. 

As they came up to it, Mulder tried saying the words, "Ench t d Fores. Looks like they need to fix their sign. I guess this is the turn," Mulder said.

Walter turned the RV down the narrow side road, and soon, they were in front of a rundown shack. A neon sign that flickered "VACANCY," lit up a broken window.

"You think this is the place? It looks like a refugee camp," Mulder said, as he warily looked around.

"I guess," Skinner said, hopping out the door and onto the porch of the rickety structure. 

Three huge hounds came bounding out from underneath the porch baying in warning. Fox looked horrified. 

"Run, Walter!" he yelled out the open window.

The older man leapt for the front door. As his hand reached the door, it opened. Out stepped what looked like a woman with a shot gun. 

"You sons-of-bitches git back under the porch for' I fill yer asses with buckshot," she shouted. Then turning to Walter, she said, "Sorry Mister. Them's nothin more 'en aggsucken pups. Whys they'd sooner pee on ya, then bite'cha."

"Eh, yes," Skinner said. "I need a spot to park my RV for the night."

"Sure nuff, you all got a hundret dollers 'en you-ens kin park that contraption enywheres."

"One hundred dollars? Surely, that's not right?" Skinner asked.

"Makes me no never mind, takes et or leaves et, Mister. Next parken spot is 'bout four hours away as the crow flies."

Skinner looked at his watch. It read 9:43 p.m. He was tired, and he knew Mulder would refuse to go another mile. Reaching into his pocket, he took out his wallet. Thumbing through it he took out his Visa card.

"Cash only!" the crone shouted.

"All right," Walter said as he counted out the correct amout. "Where do we park?"

"Enywheres that suits yer fancy, sweet cheeks. Efen you all need a bath, the bathhouse 'en the outhouse is overn there by the trash berrels. Ets right next to my bedroom winder," she winked.

"Yes, well, if you'll pardon me, my friend and I are tired. I'll just go and park my rig."

"Mi daughter Ellie Sue will be happy as a tick on a dawg to knowed we's gots urselves a cuple'a men folk." The elderly woman spit on the porch as Walter turned and hurried back to the RV.

"Are we all set?" Mulder asked. "I was afraid those dogs were going to tear into you. Was that a woman?"

"Yes. Yes. I'm not sure." 

Walter pulled the RV over to one side. "Help me secure it for the night, Fox."

Mulder helped Walter put up the privacy screen around the front and side windows. He then went outside with Walter and helped connect to the electrical supply box. They both hurried back into the protection of the RV.

"I need a shower. How about you Walter?"

"No, I'd rather take my chances in here," the older man said. "That old thing was putting the move on me."

"She knows a handsome stud when she sees one," Mulder winked.

"The bath house is right next to the outhouse." 

"Out house! You've got to be kidding! You're not laughing, Walter.!"

"That's what she said, I swear to God!" Walter replied.

"I don't care. I need some cold water to help my face and bruised butt feel better."

Mulder got his shower gear and a fresh change of clothes and headed for the bath house. He was careful not to make a sound for fear of attracting the hounds. When he made it to the bath house, the overwhelming stench of raw sewage greeted him. Hell, Walter wasn't kidding about that outhouse! Stepping into the structure, he discovered that only a dim bulb illuminated the inside. A door that hung by only one hinge creaked as he pulled it open to reveal the shower stall. From the looks of the place, Mulder was just as glad that there wasn't more lighting.

He pulled the door closed and began to undress. For some reason he had the feeling he was being watched. When he twisted the water handles, the pipes began to moan and groan. Fox Mulder didn't care, he just wanted some cool water to flow over him. Instead of a spray, the rusty nozzle managed to emit a soft drip of water. Oh well, it's better than nothing.

After he had finished showering, he began to towel himself off. He was bent over, drying his feet when the door groaned back on its hinge. "Holy shit! You-en's have got the sweetest little ass I's ever seed!" a woman said.

Mulder turned and covered himself.

"Yer want me to dry ye oft," the woman said as her hands began to reach towards him..

"Ah, no thank you!" Mulder said, as he pulled the door shut.

"Efen you-ens need some hoochie koochie, sweet cheeks, jest let me knows. I aims to please," he heard her say as she opened the outside door and left.

Fox put on his pants and raced back to the RV. "You've got us parked in hell!"

"Holy shit! Mulder what happened to you? You're all orange!" Walter shouted.

"What are you talking about?"

"You look like a piece of rusty metal," answered Skinner

Mulder went into the bathroom to look in a mirror, "Damn! Damn! Damn! The water from the shower! I should've known better." Coming out, he asked, "What am I going to do, Walter?"

Walter said nothing. He eyed the younger man and began to laugh. He laughed so hard that tears were running down his face. "You're a sight, Fox."

"Thanks a lot, Walter. Singed hair, burned face, rusty skin, and propositioned by an oversexed native! Boy is this turning out to be a dream vacation!" the younger man replied waving his arms.

"Propositioned?"

"Yeah, propositioned!" Mulder told the older man what had just happened to him. Walter stared wide-eyed and started to laugh again.

"It's not that funny. Here we are in Camp Hell with Mrs. Satan and her carnal knowledge daughter," Fox said, as he joined Walter in laughing. 

"This will make memories that will last a life time, Fox," Walter said as he stopped laughing. Taking Mulder's hand he kissed it. "What say we get the bed ready and practice a little carnal knowledge of our own."

"I thought you'd never ask. Make sure the doors are bolted. I don't want to wake up with Possum Perl and her sex starved mother drooling over us."

"You've got it," Walter said, bolting the doors.

* * * * * ** * 

The only bed big enough to hold the two men was the queen sized loft bed above the cab. Walter busied himself fixing it up. Placing the ladder in the center, he bowed and said, "After you, mi' lord."

Mulder climbed up into the bed. It made him feel claustrophobic to be confined in such a coffin like space. There wasn't enough head room to sit up, but thank God it was wide. Walter turned off the lights, and made his way up into the bed.

"Watch your head. There's not much clearance," the younger man warned.

"Okay."

Walter snuggled over to Mulder and pulled him towards him. His hands began to caress the younger man's back. The feel of Skinner's naked body began to arouse Mulder.

"I expect you to perform like a stud tonight," Mulder whispered in Walter's ear. "You owe me, and I figure this is the best way for you to pay off your debt."

"My pleasure," the older man said as his mouth found Mulder's.

"Yeah," moaned Mulder.

Walter slid his mouth down Mulder's neck and onto his chest. He took the younger man's nipples, one at a time, into his mouth and massaged them with his tongue.

"Good God, Walter! Don't stop!"

Walter didn't stop, he continued to slide down toward Mulder's waiting cock.

As the older man's mouth continued to work its magic on Fox Mulder, the younger man began to raise his hips in anticipation.

Reaching the younger man's throbbing erection, Skinner wasted no time in sliding it into his mouth. As he did, Fox Mulder shivered and began to pump his hips. Slowly, Walter began to slide his mouth up and down the hard cock. He let his tongue lick the tip of Mulder's penis.

With his hands, he gently cupped his lover's balls. At each lunge of Mulder's hips, he took more of the younger man's organ into his mouth. He could sense that Fox was close to orgasm. 

He allowed one hand to slide between Mulder's ass cheeks. Quickly, his fingers found the tight anus of the younger man. As he touched it, the younger man spread his legs, giving him free access. Skinner released the quivering cock and brought his hand to his mouth. He licked his middle finger, coating it with his spit. 

Pressing this finger into the opening of Mulder's anus, he gently pushed and slid in. 

Fox Mulder whimpered in ecstasy, "You know how to pay off a debt."

Sliding his finger in and out of the younger man's tight ass, the older man took Mulder's cock once again into his mouth. 

Skinner felt the approaching orgasm of the younger man, and he brushed his finger over Mulder's prostate gland. When he did, Mulder lurched upwards and shouted. The sensation of being both sucked and finger fucked at the same time made Mulder delirious with pleasure. He could feel his orgasm starting. With one final thrust, he shot his cum like a geyser into Walter's mouth. Fox Mulder's cock kept pumping hot liquid for several seconds. Walter sucked on the pulsating cock, until it began to go flaccid.

"Shit! That was great," Mulder gasped.

Walter released Mulder's soft cock and made his way to the younger man's face. Fox pulled Skinner towards him. They kissed. 

"Where's the lube?" Walter asked.

"In the bathroom," answered Mulder.

Walter Skinner sat up. As he did, he hit his head on the low ceiling of the RV. For a minute, all he saw was stars. 

Fox heard the sickening thud of Walter's head hitting, "God, Walter! Are you all right?"

Walter Skinner held his head, "Yeah, I think so. That hurt!"

"Here let me rub it."

"No, it's beginning to feel better," the older man said. "Give me a minute, and I'll be okay.

Mulder leaned up and kissed Walter on the back. "I know what will make you feel better quicker. Go get the lube."

Walter Skinner chuckled and started to climb down from the bed. As he did his feet missed one of the rungs in the ladder. With a loud crash, he lost his balance and fell backwards, landing on the dining table which promptly broke with a resounding snap underneath his weight..

"Ooooooh! Shit!"

"Walter!" shouted Mulder, as he made his way down from the bed, and turned on a light.

A naked Walter Skinner lay sprawled on the broken table. He looked dazed. The younger man knelt over him. "Anything broken?"

"I don't think so."

"Here let me help you up," offered Fox, extending his hand.

Taking the younger man's outstretched hand, he began to pull himself up. As he did, he heard his back pop. Screaming in pain, Walter said, "My back!"

"I heard it," Fox said. "Carefully helping Walter up, the younger man steadied him. "I guess you know, that ends our lovemaking session. Let's get some Tylenol, and put you back into bed. By morning, you'll be better."

Walter clinched his teeth, as his back spasmed and head throbbed. "Okay."

Mulder gave him the pills and then helped push him up into the bed. With each movement, Walter shouted out in agony. Finally, the older man was back in the bed. Fox joined him and snuggled up against him.

"Sorry about your back."

"It's not your fault, Fox," groaned Skinner.

"Try and get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning," Mulder said, trying to assure Walter. "And don't feel bad about breaking the table."

Walter winced as he tried to move. "You burn yourself, and I about break my back. Surely, nothing else can go wrong, can it?"

Mulder made no reply. His snoring was all Walter heard. Patting his lover's thigh, Walter Skinner closed his eyes and prayed for sleep.

"Huh?" Mulder said, as he opened one eye. He raised his head, looked around, and was ready to lay back down, when he heard the sound again. Someone was knocking on the door.

"Just a minute," he said softly, trying to keep from waking Walter.

Fox pulled the covers over Walter and then carefully climbed down. He looked at the broken table and shook his head. The knocking continued. Mulder pulled on a pair of jeans and opened the door.

"Howdy you all. Ma sent me over with some scrabled aggs wit pig brains an some homemade biscuits." 

Standing before him was the girl from last night. Mulder reddened a little as he noticed how she leered at him. She was wearing cut-offs and a tank top. 

"Don't just stand thar gawken, take hit," she ordered, handing him the plate.

She had just bent over to tie her shoe, when one of her breasts fell out of the tank top. "Oh my goodness, one'a my tits just plopped out."

Mulder had seen more then he wanted. Saying, "Thanks," he closed the door and bolted it. He sat the eggs and brains in the sink and covered them with paper towels. Next, he crawled up the ladder to the bed.

"Walter, wake-up. Come on, it's time to get out of this hell hole."

The older man groaned and opened his eyes.

"How's your back?" Mulder asked.

"Fine, it's sore, but it could be worse. How's your face and ass?"

"Better here, too. Come on, let's get dressed and make a run for it. Satan's daughter brought us some brains and eggs . . .don't ask. Also, she managed to show me one of her boobs. It's not worth getting into. I have this feeling, that if we don't leave now, we'll never get another chance," the younger man said, throwing Walter his clothes.

In less than ten minutes, both men were ready.

"You'll have to go outside and disconnect the power cord. Don't make a sound, or the dogs will start to howl," Walter said, as he took the privacy curtains down and slid in behind the steering wheel.

"No problem. I'll take the egg and brain crap and throw it to them. While they're busy eating, I'll disconnect us, and we're off."

Sneaking out the door, Mulder held the plate of food. He walked to the electrical outlet and as he pulled out the plug, the dogs came running. He tossed the plate to the ground. The dogs eagerly bolted down the food, giving Mulder enough time to hop in the RV. "Go!" 

Skinner gunned the engine, and the RV lurched forward, disappearing in a cloud of dust.

"We are never ever going to stay at a campground in the middle of nowhere again. I'd sooner park on the side of the interstate," Mulder ranted.

"For once, I agree with you, Fox," Walter said.

Later that day, Fox noticed a yellow warning light blinking on the instrument panel by the side door of the RV. Looking to see what it was, he noticed that the waste water tanks were full. "Walter, the waste water tanks are full. What do we do now?"

"We find a dump station and drain the system."

"Is it hard?"

"No, all you do is attach the drain hose to the valve, turn the handle, and the stored sewage runs out into the hose and down the cistern. I'll show you how to do it." 

"You mean I have to touch it?"

"Just the hose."

"You're sure?" Mulder asked, looking skeptical.

"The booklet said that dumping the sewage tank was a snap. I'll read the directions, and you follow them. Okay?"

"All right, but from now on, I vote we do all our bodily functions in real bathrooms," winced Mulder.

Skinner pulled the RV up to a dump station. Taking the instruction manual, he hopped out. Fox was already at the side of the RV.

"Okay, open the compartment that says "SEWAGE".

Mulder did as he was told.

"Next, pull out the drain hose. Put the open end down the cistern hole. Good. Attach the clamp onto the drain pipe, being careful to turn and snap the clamp on."

Fox stuck the clamp on the pipe. It felt tight.

"Have you got it on securely?" Walter asked, peering at the hose.

"I think so. It doesn't move," Fox answered, pulling on the hose.

"Fine, it says that you open the release valve, and in a few minutes the sewage tank will be empty."

The younger man turned the valve. The sound of liquid rushing down the hose and into the cistern could be heard.

"Walter?" What's this lever for?" Mulder wanted to know.

"What lever?"

"This one. Come closer so you can see it," Fox instructed.

Walter bent down next to Mulder and looked at the lever. At that exact moment, the drain hose slipped off the drain pipe, sending raw sewage shooting out everywhere. Both men were instantly covered with foul smelling, brackish water. . . and more.

Mulder started to gag. The smell was overpowering. Even though he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast, what little was in his stomach made its way up and out.

"Oh my God! We're covered in shit!" shouted Walter "Quick, turn the damn valve off!"

The younger man had sunk to his knees. It felt as though his stomach was trying to climb out of his mouth. They only thing he could do was vomit.

Walter finally managed to turn the valve off. He walked over to Mulder and helped him up. Pulling down the water hose that hung suspended over the dump station, he turned it on and began to wash Fox down.

Mulder sputtered, but didn't move. "Get it all off, Walter, and hurry," he managed to say before he vomited again.

When Mulder looked clean, Walter turned the hose on himself.

Mulder collapsed onto the grass. His face was white and he looked like he was in pain. "That's it!" he said weakly, still gagging. "One more thing, and we park this damned RV and get on a plane back to Washington. Do you hear me, Walter Skinner! I've been burned, bruised, propositioned by an Amazon, and covered in shit! I can't take anymore. Are you listening to me?"

Skinner helped Mulder up. "Let's get you inside and into some clean, dry clothes. It was an accident, Fox. They happen to everyone."

Glaring at the older man, Fox got up, "They had better stop happening to us!"

"They will, believe me. These are just little kinks that are all part of traveling in an RV. I promise, Fox. Would I lie to you?"

"Okay. Just help me inside, and move this thing away from here. The smell of raw sewage is everywhere," interjected Mulder.

Ten minutes later, Walter headed the RV down the highway.

* * * * * * * * *

One week later, they finally arrived at the Grand Canyon. Walter was as excited as a child. Mulder, frankly, didn't care. But since Skinner seemed happy, he was content. Walter's back had stopped giving him pain, and the skin on Mulder's face had finally peeled. 

Walter stopped the RV on a turnout that overlooked the canyon. "Isn't that the most majestic sight you've ever seen? God, it's beautiful!"

"You've seen one ditch, you've seen them all."

"Sometimes, Fox, you're a real stick in the mud," the older man said.

Raising an eyebrow, Mulder replied, "Last night, you didn't seem to think that."

"You were pretty good last night, so limber," Walter chuckled.

"Well, now that we're here, what?"

"First we park at the campground, and then we reserve us a couple of burros for a ride down to the bottom. Man, I can't wait!" Skinner said excited.

Fox wasn't keen on the prospect of riding on a donkey. He had never ridden on anything but a bicycle, and he really dreaded the thought of getting on an ass. The only ass he wanted to ride was Skinner's.

As soon as they had parked the RV and connected up the utilities, Walter rushed to the campground store. A sign advertised burro rides down to the floor of the canyon.

Mulder was sitting on the small couch watching the television when Walter burst in. I've got tickets for tomorrow. We leave from the store at 7 a.m. The trip takes about twelve hours."

"Twelve hours on a burro! I'm not sure about that, Walter. Couldn't we do the two hour ride?"

"No such thing, Fox," Walter said, and continued. "We won't have to bring anything. Water and food are provided. All we have to do is dress appropriately."

"Oh boy! I can't wait," the younger man grinned.

"What say we go to the rim and watch the sunset?"

Mulder looked up at Walter, "You're nothing more than an old romantic. Give me a second to put on my shoes."

"On our way to the canyon rim, we'll pass the burros' holding pen. We'll stop, and I'll show you how tame those creatures are."

Fox cocked an eyebrow, "If it will make you feel better, all right."

The first thing that Mulder noticed about the burrows, was their smell. It was unlike any odor he had ever encountered before. The scent hung heavily in the air and seemed to permeate everything.

"God, they stink!" Fox said, holding his nose.

"You get used to it," Skinner replied.

"Bet I don't."

Skinner walked over to the fence and began to pet the burros that walked up to him. "Fox, come over here. Look how gentle these things are."

Mulder walked up beside Walter and looked at the animals in front of him. They seemed tame enough.

"Go ahead, and pet one of them," Walter urged as he scratched the ears of one.

"Nah, I'll wait until tomorrow to bond with them."

Walter turned to him, "Oh, go on. They won't bite."

Fox rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. He reached over the fence and patted the back of a dark brown donkey. The hair of the animal felt wiry. A white burro sidled up next to the one that Mulder was petting. It raised its head and seemed to fix its eyes on the his arm. It pulled back its lips, revealing a set of yellowish teeth.

"Look, Fox, it's smiling at you," joked Walter.

Mulder grimaced just as the ass opened its mouth and bit the younger man's arm.

"Holy crap, it just bit me! Dammit, I think it broke the skin," Fox hissed in pain, as he quickly pulled his arm free.

The donkey began to bray and galloped away.

"You saw that, Walter. It tried to kill me!" Mulder yelled, examining his arm.

Walter Skinner looked over the younger man's arm. Finding only a red area and no sign of damage, he said, "You're okay. Maybe it thought you were hurting its friend here."

"Walter! That damned jackass bit me deliberately. If you think that I'm going to ride on the back of one of those things for twelve hours while it tries to bite hunks out of me, boy are you in for a surprise!" Fox shouted.

"Fox, it was a fluke. Who knows, maybe you smelled like food or something."

"Walter, do I look like a hay bale? No, I've got it. It's my new cologne. It must be made from essence of oats. Walter, the ass bit me!" Mulder shouted as he walked away.

Skinner followed him. Catching up to him, he said, "All right, if you don't want to ride one tomorrow, it's okay."

"You mean that, Walter?"

"It's all right. I'm sure that one day I'll get the opportunity to fulfill this dream I've had since childhood," the older man said, pouting.

"Walter, you're sulking."

The older man sighed deeply.

"I can't believe you're doing this. Yes, all ready! We'll go on the damned ride if it's that important to you. But Walter, I'm taking a stick. If one of those donkeys so much as looks at me cross-eyed, I'm going to conk it."

"Thanks, Fox. You'll see, these are gentle creatures. Just you wait," Skinner bubbled.

"I believe you, Walter," Mulder replied ruefully as the shrill braying of an ass echoed over the canyon.

* * * * * * * * *

"All right, listen up!" the ranger shouted to the assembled group. "This is going to be one of the greatest experiences of your life. You'll see the canyon in a way that most never do. I want you to enjoy this adventure. There are some things I need to tell you before we go. These burros have made this trip dozens of times. They know the way. This requires you to do nothing more than hang on and enjoy. Food and water have been placed in your saddle bags. At the bottom, you can replenish your water. If you have to answer the call of nature, well, it's a big canyon, just watch out for the snakes. This is important, so please listen! If you should get separated from the group, and that happens, do not panic. Stay on the trail, and sooner or later, someone will find you. Now, any questions?"

Mulder rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He had dreaded this trip all night. The thought of being on a donkey for most of the day made him wince. Looking at Walter, he had to smile. The older man was practically beaming. 

"Look, Fox, they're bringing the burros," the older man said.

Mulder didn't have to look, the sound of braying asses greeted him long before he saw them. "I'm overjoyed, Walter."

"Okay folks, our transportation is here. Claim yourself a donkey and let's go," the ranger said.

Walter picked out two medium sized burros for Mulder and himself. He walked the animals over to Fox. "Here, this one's yours."

Mulder looked at the donkey. It looked pleasant enough.

"Go on, pat its head. Let it know you like it."

"Walter, I just want to ride it, not make it my best friend," Fox said, taking the reins.

Fox watched Walter mount the beast. It looked fairly easy. Approaching his own burro, he put his foot in the stirrup and started to pull himself up. The donkey took a couple of steps sideways, and Mulder found himself sitting on the ground.

"Fox! Pay attention to what you're doing," Skinner said.

Mulder got up and brushed the dirt off his shorts. Pay attention! The damned thing moved on purpose. "Walter, I'm doing the best I can."

"Mister, when you mount it, shift your weight toward its back," said a small boy.

"Thanks," Fox replied.

On the next attempt, Fox found himself atop the smelly beast. He grabbed the reins and held them tightly in his hands.

"Everyone get into a single line. The path isn't wide, so don't ride side-by-side," the ranger instructed. "Everybody ready . . . . . let's move out."

Walter and Fox found themselves at the end of the caravan. As the procession began to make its way towards the rim of the canyon, Fox wished he had stayed in the RV. His saddle creaked as the burro moved. It was already warm at 7:30 a.m., promising a hot day. Not a cloud was in the sky.

An hour later, the procession was snaking its way down the trail that led to the bottom. As Fox looked down to the floor of the canyon, his hold on the reins got tighter. 

"What a sight!" Walter said.

Fox said nothing. His butt was beginning to twinge and his legs were going numb. Fumbling with the saddle bags, he found a canteen. The water was warm, but at least he quenched his thirst. The sun overhead a fiery ball.

"Walter, I'm getting hot."

"It's only four more hours until we reach the bottom. There's an air conditioned gift shop where you can cool off." Walter replied, humming the Lone Ranger theme song.

"Four more hours, by then I'll be well done," Mulder sighed.

Fox continued to drink. His bladder was beginning to send him urgent signals that it needed emptying. "Walter, I've to pee."

"I told you not to guzzle your water."

"I'm going to stop over there," Mulder said, pointing to an outcropping of large rocks.

Mulder pulled back on the reins of the burro and brought it to a halt. It raised its head and turned to look at him complainingly. Skinner brought his ass to a stop next to Mulder's.

"I'll just go behind those rocks," the younger man said, as he dismounted.

Mulder's legs were stiff, and his backside hurt. I bet I have blisters on my butt cheeks. He began to hobble off.

"Wait up. While we're stopped, I might as well take a leak myself."

Fox noticed that Walter was limping himself. A vengeful little smile crossed his face. It was good to know that Wild Bill Skinner wasn't the ace cowboy he pretended to be.

"Do you think the donkeys will be all right left alone?" Mulder asked.

"Sure, why not?"

Both men, moving slower than normally, went behind the rocks. Mulder unzipped his pants and began to empty himself. He heard Walter doing the same. A large lizard jumped on a rock next to Mulder and snapped its jaws. Fox yelled and stumbled backwards into Walter, who lost his balance, sending both men to the ground.

"Oh my God!" yelled the older man. "Get off me Fox, something's biting me on my ass!"

Fox rolled off the older man and got to his feet. Walter continued to yell. Mulder grabbed Skinner's arm and helped him up. 

Looking at his backside, Fox whistled, "Walter, you landed on a cactus. Your ass is covered with cactus needles."

Skinner was biting his lower lips trying to keep from yelling. "Do something, Fox!"

"Drop your pants."

"Why?"

"I can't get to all of the quills to pull them out with your pants on," Mulder explained.

Walter did as he was told. The pain caused by the needles was more than enough to convince him to do as Fox asked.

"Okay, bend over."

Walter complied groaning, "Be gentle, Fox."

Mulder began to pull out the quills. Each one he pulled was followed by a yell of pain from Skinner.

"That's the last one," said Fox. "Your damn ass looks like a connect the dots drawing."

Skinner pulled his pants back on. "You know, it's your fault."

"What's my fault?"

"My falling on the cactus."

"And exactly how was that my fault?'

"If you hadn't acted like some city slicker, that little lizard wouldn't have scared you," Walter growled.

"That little lizard was a good foot long. It snapped at my dick. I may be old-fashioned, but the only one that I allow to snap at my privates is my lover, which happens to be you. Besides, it scared the crap out of me."

"We better get back to the burros. The others are a good fifteen minutes ahead of us. Maybe we can catch up."

The burros stood in the same spot where they had been left. Mulder walked up to his burro and patted it on its rump. When he did, the donkey raised its head, let out a screeching bray, bucked, and took off running down the trail.

"Come back here, you piece of shit!" Mulder yelled.

"You've done it now," Walter said. "I guess you'll have to walk."

"No way. Your donkey looks sturdy enough to hold both of us," Fox replied.

"Well, let's hope so," Walter said. "Help me up."

Mulder helped Walter get atop the burro. As Skinner sat, his face turned red, and he groaned, "Get me off!"

"Why?"

"I can't sit, the pain!"

Fox helped Walter off his ass. "Now what?"

"You ride, and I'll walk," Walter said grimacing in pain.

"You'll never make it, Walter. I have an idea. I'll ride, and you lay across sideways."

"You've got to be kidding."

"Have you got a better idea? You're in no condition to ride or to walk, and I'm sure as hell not going to walk four hours until we reach the bottom. I don't think there's any other way," the younger man responded.

Walter simply said, "Okay."

Fox climbed up on the donkey first. He slid as far back as he could. "Okay, now your turn."

The older man grunted and positioned himself so that half of him hung on either side of the burro. He placed his hands on the the stirrups to keep them from hitting the ground. "Here hold my glasses," he told Mulder.

"You comfortable enough, Walter?"

"The blood is pooling in my head and my ass is throbbing, otherwise, I'm dandy," Skinner answered, groaning with every step the donkey took. His feet bounced and hit the rocky trail.

"You're not the only one in pain. My butt is numb, and I feel sunburned. I can't feel my legs anymore either," Fox answered, wiping the sweat from his face.

Hours later, the two made it to the bottom. A ranger ran up to meet them, "We were just about to go after you. When your donkey came in by itself, we figured there had been trouble."

"Brilliant deduction, Einstein," Mulder sneered. "Care to give my friend here a hand?"

The ranger helped Skinner off the burro. Fox lowered himself off slowly.

"Why are you laying across the donkey?" 

"I fell on top of a cactus . . ."

"Okay, I get the picture," the ranger said, trying to keep from laughing.

"What's so funny?" Mulder snapped.

"Nothing. That's one bad sunburn, Mister. I think you'd both better come into the first-aid station, and let the nurse look you," the ranger said.

Fox put his arms around Walter to help support him. Then both men slowly hobbled into the first aid station.

* * * * * * * * *

Mulder's bottom felt like it had been scraped raw with sandpaper. It hurt to walk, sit, or stand. Aspirin took the edge off the pain, though his sore ass was a minor inconvenience when compared to his sun burn. The nurse at the first aid station had told him it looked like a second degree burn. Watery blisters had erupted on the sun damaged skin, and he began to itch. Cold showers helped to quell the pain in his butt, and took some of the sting out of the sunburn. 

Walter fared better. Since he spent most of the ride down into the canyon hanging over a burro, he only suffered a minor sunburn. Mulder's quick response in pulling out the cactus needles had prevented any severe damage to Walter's ass. While it hurt him to sit, that pain could be eased by sitting on pillows. He walked slowly and with a discernible limp, but he did manage to get around.. 

Mulder's disposition reflected the discomfort he was in. When Walter tried to snuggle up next to him in bed, he would moan in pain and say, "Don't touch me."

Two days after the burro trip, which Mulder referred to as The asses' revenge, the younger man began to feel better. The sunburn was beginning to disappear and his back end felt much better. As with Walter, walking proved to be a challenge. Fox took tiny steps to avoid stretching the backs of his legs. Skinner laughed and called him a Geisha girl.

Walter decided that, since they both felt better, it was time to head home. Fox offered no objections. Mulder smiled as Walter pulled the RV onto to the road. 

"If I ever let you talk me into something like this again, I'll . . ."

"You'll what?" Walter asked.

"I'll probably go right along with you. I don't know which one of us is crazier, you for suggesting these things, or me for going along with you against my better judgment."

"Admit it, Fox. You've had a great time. Don't tell me you haven't made memories to last a life time," the older man said, grinning.

"Memories, scars, nightmares, and you name it," laughed Mulder.

"I knew you'd come around."

"Yes, I have. I'll never get on an RV again. I don't care how much you pout."

"I don't pout!"

"Yes, you do, Walter."

"Do not," the older man said as he sulked.

"There you go again."

Walter laughed, "I guess you bring out the pouter in me." 

Skinner pulled the RV into a scenic overlook. Grabbing his camera he added, "Come on, I want to take a few more pictures of the canyon before we leave."

The parking lot sloped downward facing into the canyon. 

"Put on the emergency brake. I'd hate to go over the edge," Fox said.

"Fox, you worry too much," Walter replied as he depressed the emergency brake. "Come on, I want to take some pictures of you with the canyon in the background."

Mulder moaned as he hopped out of the RV. His legs, while better, still pained him when he walked.

"Stand over there by the sign," Water directed. "That's it. Smile . . .Got it."

"Hey, let me take a picture of you," Fox said. "Trade places with me."

The younger man snapped two pictures of Walter, who stood pointing at the canyon behind him. Walking up to Walter, Mulder turned sideways and froze in horror. The RV was slowly rolling down the incline towards the edge of the canyon.

"Holy shit! Walter, the RV's moving!" Fox yelled.

"Fox that's . . . Oh my God!" the older man said as he began to limp towards the RV.

Taking little steps, Mulder followed Walter in hot, but slow pursuit. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly. 

Walter reached the back of the rolling RV. At that moment, his right foot stepped sideways into a hole. Walter went down and bounced on the pavement. Mulder passed him, limping. The RV picked up speed. Fox stopped and threw his hands up in the air. Walter pulled himself up and stood expressionless. The RV crashed through the wooden railing. For one brief moment, it looked like a prehistoric bird in flight, and then it plummeted down into the canyon.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Walter said as he hobbled up to Mulder. 

Both men walked up to the edge and looked over. Below them, on the canyon floor lay the RV. It was ripped in half like an overripe watermelon; its contents scattered around it. Smoke rose above it, and the wind wisked it away. 

Fox began to shake. The shaking turned to a gurgling sound which became a full blown laugh. Walter continued to stare over the edge, then he too began to laugh. Both men sank to the ground in hysterics.

A few minutes later, Fox managed to stifle his laughter. "I can't say I'm sorry. At least now, we can get back home in comfort."

Walter exhaled and wiped the tears from his eyes, "You know, I'm with you. I guess Cousin Leon won't have to worry about fixing those brakes anymore."

Fox began to laugh again. "If you ever come up with another idea like this, I'm going to lock you in a closet."

"Don't worry, Fox. Never again."

"Your foot okay?" Mulder asked as he helped Walter to his feet.

"I think I twisted my ankle."

"Here, put your weight on me." 

The two men limped to the phone booth.

****EPILOGUE****

"I got the pictures back, Fox," Walter said as he entered the apartment.

"Oh boy, I can't wait," the younger man replied faking a smile.

The older man sat on the sofa where Fox joined him. 

Walter opened up one of the envelopes and pulled the pictures out, "Oh no!"

"What's the matter Walter, the pictures bring back bad memories?"

"They're blank," Walter answered as he opened another package. "Damn! So are these."

Skinner went through the rest of the envelopes. In disgust he tossed them all into the wastebasket.

"I'm sorry none of the pictures turned out," Fox offered, rubbing the back of Walter's neck. "But as you always said on the trip, 'What memories we have'."

"You're right," the older man, said and he pulled Mulder closer. "Next year, I figure we'll rent a boat and sail up the coast to Maine . . ."

"Shut-up, Walter, and kiss me," Fox interrupted.

"With pleasure," Skinner replied, and he lowered his lips onto Mulder's mouth.

The End


End file.
